fcuked up, stressed up.
hmm, i know. 2nd post.
haiyaaa .
i dont know whats up with me today. really.
im just all moody and restless.
was otp with bby for awhile just now.
and now he's playing soccer.
so tmw, im not gg msia.
yay me. hmm.
im not okay, i dont know why.
there's alot of things running through my mind.
from A till Z.
kakak's hardly around cos of work.
so we dont talk about stuffs like we used to very often.
and it kinda sucks.
mummy's the same case. except that i hardly tell her about my problems and all. she's the one i spend time joking around with.
daddy is only home from morning till aftnn.
and he would usually be sleeping in the morning aft coming home from work. he's easy going. doesnt really care bout whats going on around. and at least he lets me have my privacy. unlike mummy and grandma.
as for nafiah ? i dont usually share stuff with her. its difficult to tell her things. its either she doesnt understand or just doesnt care.
some people may have grandmothers to turn to apart from all the other people. but i dont think my grandma is someone i can turn to. she'll just nag it off. haiyaaa.
so it only comes to one person tht i have now.
just myself.
bby might tell me tht im not alone since i have him.
but i cant possibly be telling all my problems to him and expect him to cheer me up all the time right ?
the thing with me is tht, i dont tell people whats going on with me.
i dont tell my parents , sisters, friends, wht more bby.
mummy always tell me to share my problems and doubts with her.
THATS WHT EVERYONE TELLS ME.
but im doing them a favour by not adding to their stress.
and besides, whenever i feel this way, these people are always not around.
so whts the use right ?
i dont want school to start. i dont even wanna go to school.
i wanna quit school, can i ?
i dont know who or what is pissing me off.
but i really really really really cant take it.
i feel the pressure already.
the pressure of everyone around me telling me to do them proud.
the pressure of the major exam im gonna sit for.
the pressure of having someone missing you and wanting to meet you when you really cant do anything about it but tell them to wait.
and the pressure of everything else that matters.
its stressing you know.
and im not the kind of person to be able to handle these kind of things.
sure, i'll pull through. but when , how ?
people tell me im strong enough, how sure are you ?
